Challenges

It's been more than 2 weeks since I've updated my blog! Here's giving you a quick flashback on what you've missed.

Firstly, I've started working,which explains the recurring guilt of 'I have not spent enough time with baby'.So more hugs and cuddles from both daddy and me whenever we have a chance to carry her.

Secondly, Nat is now looked after by her grandmamee who, like all grandparents, dotes on her. We still bring her home each night, persevering with nite feeds. Think this is the least I could do as a mom.

We've watched Harry Potter and the half blood prince, complimentary tickets from attending Kim Seng Young PAP's AGM. We've also attended the Lion's Appreciation Dinner on Friday. Doesn't seem like a long list huh? And tell you what I've totally forgotten about the time when weekends just zip by and it's monday again! Dread to be reminded now!

So what were my biggest challenges at work and home? I must say it's balancing time for expression, work and sleep!

Past couple of weeks had gone by like a mad rush. Now I fully understand what a working Mum has to go though!It's really a uphill task trying to complete what needs to be done at work and slotting time to express myself. I strive to express every 4 hours but haven't been succeeding at all! Perhaps it's due to the tonnes of work waiting for me or it might be that I've slackened and was taking double the time to get things completed? I think it's definitely the former... now that the unit is starting it's recruitment cycle again, so much more needs to be done and so little time!
Situation worsen when I have back to back meetings lined up, had no choice but to push back expression time. Rather than the ideal 4 hours interval, it became 5 /6 hours. Not only do I feel engorged, I feel really guilty for not playing my role as a mother well! Cause reduction in expression frequency may reduce milk production and quantity would thereby be affected. Natalie now takes about 600mls in the day, whereas I only manage to pump about 4/500ish ml in the office. Demand exceeds supply! Each time I delay expression, I've got to pump for more than 30mins to express it all out or try to rush expression by increasing the suction speed. Playing both roles well is really a struggle. I know my priority remains with Nat and my goal is to feed her on EBM till she reaches 12 months. It'll be even better if I could last longer and push till her 2nd birthday. What I need to do is to stick to the expression slots ( 8am, 12noon and 4pm) religiously and not allow work to supersede. Easy to say, but action requires loads of determination and discipline!

The other challenge would be waking up in the middle of the night to feed Nat. Pushing last feed to 11ish pm kinda help delay late night feeds from 2am to 3am. Since I started working, waking up now becomes a struggle! Her daddy who can't hear a single cry before could now react even faster than me! Fortunately, he'll help carry the crying baby to me for feeds. At least I don't have to physically get up and walk to the cot. Wanted him to help with bottle feeding for Nat's last feed, but it don't quite seem to work. It's probably the way he holds her or the intensity of his perspiration which can't seem to stop following even in the aircon environment and worsen each time Nat starts to cry. Chris gets irritated with himself and Nat too felt it and seems uncomfortable with the feeds. I would still have to take over to ensure that she finishes the bottle. So rather than feeding her from the bottle ( and we were just too tired to wash up after that) I have resumed direct feeding.