Dealing with tantrums

Natalie is growing up quickly now, somehow I feel that she is getting so mature each day that I am starting to lose my little girl soon.

This afternoon daddy and her had a slight argument. He insisted that she knock on the baby gate before exiting to inform others that she is coming out. She simply wouldn't do it and was therefore restricted in the room with the gate as barrier. She apologised after much chiding and said the words that daddy wants to hear. Later did she tell me that that's a baby gate, not a door. I guess her question is since it's a gate, why does she need to knock? You know what she did in the end? She said, "Excuse me, I am coming out!" I was pleasantly surprised that she knew how to say excuse me and used it appropriately. Having heard this, I suppose daddy felt really bad for causing the trauma in the afternoon when she persistently refused to knock on the baby gate before exiting. Our baby is maturing quicker than we could keep up... we should seriously reexamine the ways we educate her and at the same time use appropriate teaching measures to keep up with her development.

Hubby tends to think raising his voice when she throws a tantrum and being persistent at the point when she refuses to listen helps. Personally, I feel that such behaviours will not improve with a parent raising his/her voice. Daddy should watch more episodes of "Super nanny" and learn from the naughty chair scenarios. Old school methods of raising the voice and overpowering the child would not help in this situation at all. Remember the times when we are wrongfully caned just because a mistake was made by another sibling and our parents refuses to listen to our explanations? You probaby wouldn't want to see yourself becoming a chip of the old block in this instance.

So daddy, if you are reading this during your free time, please find a different alternative to manage her. She is a reasonable kid and would definitely listen to you when she is not overwhelmed with her own frustration. Sometimes we tend to forget that we are the adults here and that we are better able to control our emotions than a 2 years old. It's about time you learn about anger management skills and bring the soft approaches like how you would coach your staff home. Cause time and again has proven that she is a thinker and her actions are not willful acts of defiance, and she some times is better able to manage the adults than either of us. Perhaps you could try to understand exactly what she was asking for before giving her a piece of your mind the next time you feel your blood boil. Leave the room or grind your teeth and hold back that loud decibels if you can. In many instances, she did come round to explain the reasons for her behaviour and cause of her insistence. All I can say is be patient and try to understand the little words that she had learnt to express her needs and wants. It's already a huge feat for her to communicate in full sentences to us. It makes her feel sad when we don't put in just as much efforts to understand what she wish to say or finds difficulty in selecting the right vocab to describe her own feelings. It may help if you could suggest alternatives and allow her the opportunity to express what she really wants to say. Try it.. this evening's car ride to popo's place has proven her competency in understanding what we wish to convey. So perhaps you should try coming down to her level, think from her perspective and learn to comprehend her emotions as well.