Dealing with tweens

1. Behave as a role model. When you notice your teenager engaging in questionable patterns of behavior, examine yourself first. Consider the possibility that your teenager is learning behaviors from you. Avoid being a hypocrite and behave the way you want to see your child behave. If you don't want your teenager lying to you, don't lie yourself . If you get upset when your teenager is late coming home at night, make a point to always be on time for your appointments and obligations.
2. Be firm. When it comes to household rules, stand your ground. If your teenager doesn't take your rules and restrictions seriously, it's unlikely that she will ever respect you. When a teenager doesn't believe there are consequences or negative effects for inappropriate behavior, the misbehavior often escalates. If she shows up past curfew or speaks to you in a disrespectful tone, follow through on discipline, whether it's grounding her for a week or not allowing her access to her cellphone.
3. Communicate your expectations. Misunderstandings can be a major culprit behind disrespectful teenage behavior and tension with parents. Sometimes, all a teenager needs is to know clearly what is expected. Parents often fall into the trap of thinking that a child can read minds. If you're concerned about grades, establish easy-to-follow instructions to help your child reach attainable goals.